HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
