No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She said her name was "party"
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
