sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
