Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
