ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
