what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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