I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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