I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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