i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Randomize
