i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Randomize
