Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
