Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My vagina just recognized that song.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
