Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
