She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
