For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
