Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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