What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
