Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
