nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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