I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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