his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
