I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
