Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
