I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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