well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
