that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
