Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
