Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
nutella sex= disaster
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
