About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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