You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You're my little dorito
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
