I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
