Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
