Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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