thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
