No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
