Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
