garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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