i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
