6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
