Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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