at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
