maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
