Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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