Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
So apparently I’m into choking now
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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