ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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