? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just want to make out with him forever
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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