Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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