I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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