I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
