Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
